truth

I've always believed that Truth, the real truth, comes from inside of us. It is not that which is forced upon us by anyone else, i.e. the Church, our friends, school, etc. We can't just copy what other people believe in; we should be honest with ourselves about what we know and feel is right. Even if it's radically different from what the conventional person believes in. "It is essential to remain skeptical of all inherited truths, the idea being that the individual must find his own answer to every question": it's something from Sophie's World by Jostein Gaarder, describing Descartes' philosophy. Why inherit "truths"? Undergo the journey of finding it for yourself.

Life's fun, it's like along the way, people stumble upon puzzle pieces that will show who they are. The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle is one such puzzle piece.

Twitpic

Ending the semester with a bang! Wee for a new set of girlfriends made this year :) 

Law School, First Semester

Storage for the cases read this semester. FAR FROM ENOUGH SPACE.

At last, the first semester of law school is over!

What can I say? I came into this expecting that entering a good law school means I'm automatically going to be a lawyer; that I can handle everything they can throw at me at law school. After encountering the unbelievable professors and the unbelievable workload and unbelievable exams, my belief is shaken; it really is possible for me, Raisia Rojas, who never even came close to failing any subject in the past, to actually be kicked out of school. 

Even if you're hardworking, that still isn't enough to survive. I've seen some of my blockmates who have worked so hard all semester get failing grades. What gets you through is a combination of luck, hard work and your natural ability to think. 

If you don't have the latter, meaning you can't properly answer to a very complex and logical question without being messy, if you don't have argumentative skills, if you can't explain clearly and neatly, in perfect English,  your thoughts, you might as well not even think about entering law school. Hard work is a given. All through the whole semester I've calculated my sleeping hours, being careful to not go beyond 6 hours so that I can read the three inches of case homework for the next day. Not only that, when we go to class, we're expected to know the material already, so we need to read related books (commentaries) on our own, without the professor telling us to. Luck is also a valuable component. The professor you fall under, the area of the coverage that you choose to focus on, the type of approach you take when studying for the exam, they're all crucial.

I really didn't believe this kind of schooling was possible; I thought all the law school terrorism everyone was describing was a myth of sorts, that it couldn't possibly be THAT hard. Wrong. It really was hard, to the point of absurdity sometimes. Let me reiterate that we get 3 inches of reading homework after every class, for each subject. One inch if we're really lucky. The tradeoff of not reading or even missing one of those cases assigned has large implications. You may get humiliated by the professor in front of your entire class, but worse, 30%-50% of our class grade is recitation, and the other 50% is the final exams. If you screw up on either one, sorry. That's why every law student out there is scrambling to finish his or her homework every time, all of it. We have to, because gosh. We can really really flunk out of school when we get 3 failing grades.

However, with every piece of hard work you undertake, there's a corresponding payoff.

I would dare say that the first semester is life-changing. The orientation organizers were right -- you will discover that you possess powers that you never thought you had. Think you can't study for 10 hours a day every day for a sem? You can! Think you can't memorize the whole Constitution? You can! It was out of fear that I did these things, but the important thing is, I am capable of so much more... as are every one. Law school forces you to do your all and to prove yourself. First, it wrecks you, then it makes you into something more.

Reading all the cases improved my reasoning skills, which I used to be really frustrated with in the past, especially when it came to debate. I couldn't get myself across neatly, nor could I come up with in depth analysis. Now, having a stream of constant exposure to well-reasoned and in-depth argumentative analysis, I've been learning to make logical leaps in my reasoning as well as make more in-depth analysis, and I'm enjoying it. It kind of fills a void. :P

Then, the law is beautiful. Most of our professors are striving to make us see that. It is different from former schooling, wherein the things we study are only applicable to a certain domain, or are purely theoretical. This time, the moment you step outside of the classroom, you see the law at work. It's like we've been in training to have x-ray vision. We see things that the untrained can't see, we see mechanisms and forces at play, and we are learning how to use the power we have for the greater good. Or so everyone says, you know, UP lawyers are supposed to be saviors, in every which way. 

That is another motivating factor for everyone to do their best and finish this law program. We are constantly being reminded that we have a legacy to protect, that we are students in a school that produced a staggering amount of all-time greats who zoomed straight into history books and into immortality with the things they have done for the country. Presidents, senators, congressmen, nation-builders... we produced Marcos and Ninoy, for Pete's sake. Gibo and Chiz. Diokno. Most of the top lawyers and bar topnotchers. UP Law is an institution that is steeped in such a grand history and every day, we are reminded that we are next in line. We are told to look at our blockmates because there is no doubt that there will be future senators, Justices, or even Presidents in our batch. We are expected to live up to such expectations, and there is a presumption that we will succeed.

It's a heavy responsibility and the costs are high. But this is for something so big and so grand that the torture of the process of being a UP lawyer is actually worth it.

First semester is done. Again, chances for survival is not 100%. But, survive or not, first semester was a life-changing experience and I'm just thankful to be given the opportunity to study in Malcolm Hall.

Guess Who's On Facebook?

I was brushing my teeth when I heard Mico's gigantic screech from outside. I hurried over to the speakerphone.

Mommy: palitan mo yung name ko sa facebook, lagyan mo ng "dela vega"

Mico: MAAAA!! YOU BROKE THE PACT!! Diba sabi ko sayo huwag ka mag-Facebook?!

Mommy: E ginawan ako ni Tita Gilda eh! Pati sila Tita Rhorie meron na eh, ako na lang wala.

Mico: Maaaaa! Nakakahiyaaaa!

Mommy: Dagdagan mo nga name ko. Kung hindi guguluhin ko Facebook mo.

Lolz. The moral of the story is, my mother is now online! Dun dun dunnnnnn.

My cousin's mom on the other hand has been using Facebook as a threat to my cousin. If she does something bad, Tita will add her as a friend on FB and will message all my cousin's friends "thanks for being Denise's friend! :)"

My other tita has been leaving messages on my immigrant cousins' walls. "Hi ____! Ang laki-laki mo na! Take care always, be a good girl to your mommy and daddy! Study hard." HAHA it's a nice gesture but it's kind of embarrassing.

Ever since my relatives have been online I've been non-cussing, trying not to overshare and trying to curb the usually weird things I write. Instead, hmm! hmm! let's be a responsible blogger for once. Hahahaha!  

Katakots e!

Principles

"A principle is not a principle until it costs you something." 

- Jim Lafferty

Ever get that feeling when you really don't want to stand up to something, but it's just so wrong that you have no choice not to? 

Back in college, hearing this quotation from some of my friends really made me think. When was the last time I stood up for something I believed in? 

Disrespect is one thing I can't stand. Respect is universally mandatory, for any age, culture, era, relationship... as in rapper, hustla, black-people respectin'. Whoever you are and no matter what your status is in society, from the lowliest wallflower to the richest zillionaire -- you deserve respect. When people go around disrespectin', it just screws up my whole world. And so, I have no choice but to play bitch and suffer the retaliations.

After all, without principles we have no meaning, and a principle is not a principle til it costs you something. I'd rather be a pain than have no meaning.

Mnmlism

This is not a book review.

I've been reading Man's Search For Meaning by Dr. Victor Frankl. It's his study about what makes certain people survive in the face of anything. Frankl himself is a survivor, he was detained in Auschwitz during the Holocaust; he had firsthand experience of hell on earth. 

I was particularly struck by his description of their bath: all of them were made to strip, and all the hair not only on their head, but on their bodies were shorn. 

"While we were waiting for the shower, our nakedness was brought home to us: we really had nothing now except our bare bodies--even minus hair; all we possessed, literally, was our naked existence."

That has got to be the most life-changing experience ever. Realizing that your name was reduced to a mere number tattooed on your arm, all your possessions disappeared, including the very clothes on your back... your past is obliterated, the prospect of surviving is bleak. All you have is your hairless body and nothing else.

What would you be thinking then?

Nothing really matters because we all die and fade into obscurity anyway.

We just live. Even if you managed to be famous, who gives a flying fug? So what? If you helped other people, okay thanks, but then so what? So what so what so what. We're like ants living in their little colonies under the ground -- whatever monumental achievements they do is um, whatever, good job ants.

No life is the "right" life (unless you truly, unshakably, believe there is, then who am I to argue). But that's not the point. Ultimately, what matters is... we lived. 

We got to experience this wonderful world of ours, enjoyed it and maybe affected our fellow ants a little bit. Made a tiny bit of change in the cosmos, comparable to a piece of thoughtful graffiti on a desk that can be attributed to you and you alone. Wha up, universe, "Tonton waz hir".

That in mind, I've been trying to be a minimalist.

According to Leo Babauta, owner of one of my favorite blogs, Zen Habits, a minimalist is:

"It’s one that is stripped of the unnecessary, to make room for that which gives you joy.

It’s a removal of clutter in all its forms, leaving you with peace and freedom and lightness.

A minimalist eschews the mindset of more, of acquiring and consuming and shopping, of bigger is better, of the burden of stuff.

A minimalist instead embraces the beauty of less, the aesthetic of spareness, a life of contentedness in what we need and what makes us truly happy.

A minimalist realizes that acquiring stuff doesn’t make us happy. That earning more and having more are meaningless. That filling your life with busy-ness and freneticism isn’t desirable, but something to be avoided.

A minimalist values quality, not quantity, in all forms."

In the end, it's all about the power and magic of "you", unadulterated, pure you, stripped of all the materialism that weighs us down. What are "you" behind all the clothes, work, money, everything? You are enough!

It's all about cutting down mercilessly on things and activities that don't matter, and only holding on to the ones that do. It does have its consequences, like for example, cut Facebook and not be "in the loop". Cut being workaholic/studyholic and your output will not be as good. Cut eating out and people will think you're antisocial, or poor. But then, you're cutting the crap and focusing only on the things that matter to you.

It's all about being happy and content.

Look at fathers. Some dads are maluho, but a lot of dads are minimalist, they just don't conjure fancy names for what they are. My dad only has a small room, almost bare; an old laptop, a few clothes, a few books, and he likes it that way. He doesn't like owning a lot of things. He of course makes more than I do, but he's got less than a quarter of the stuff I have. He leaves his work in the province and when he comes here on weekends, he is free of drama and busy-ness. He is not preoccupied with material things and only focuses on improving the house, reading his three newspapers a day, and of course showering love on us :))

And that's what matters in life, right?

It's just time to start cutting the excess and starting to be content and happy with what I have, and that is -- relationships, activities that I love, and myself. Anything else is useless junk and drama that clutters and dilutes my short life.

I am enough!

For more info on the magic of everyday minimalism, do head on over to Zen Habits, this post, and mnmlist.com.

I Got Soul but I'm Not A Soldier

Sometimes I really do think about quitting school. My stress levels are through the roof. Never felt this way before... it's the kind of stress that's ulcer-inducing. Makes me think if I really want to do this for four more years. And that's IF I don't fail anything.

What keeps me going is the thought that after four years, I'm going to be a Professional! A permanent safety net for all the business risks that I'll be taking, since I'm not rich and neither am I well-connected (as Jane Austen would say).

Go raish goooooooooo.

Huhuhuhu.